Weird Tales of Cold Blooded Sword and Sorcery

Merp Yarp Yirp!

August 2, 2010

We comes out of hidey hole with drinky magic-one from him’s tower. It ams coldy cold. There be big sinky hole we goes into to avoid freezy bang thing from drinky magic-one’s house. The sinky hole ams biggy big and we goes down on lizards while drinky magic-one just floaties down. We sees only waters and Pico no likey goings underwaters, it am cold too. Am good that for no big watery icky-one likey the cold water. The ones that make head hurty am usually likes water that not move and be very calmy calm, so’s they makes the gooey goo in and make other berks into icky-ones. We goes with magic of drinky magic-one to gulpey waters ‘stead of airs. We bye-byes lizards and they’s must have killy-died since head hurtey and out likes sleepy bye Pico was. Pico wakey and see’s drinky magic-ones hidey place was sacked, it ams weirds since me sees half of town guard in there’s and many thingies melty. While Lizard lady and other’s spread loot, i looks for thingies, only finds that town guard armor am’s special. We give to spider-ridey kobold, him am s good trap. We sees metal there am rusty orangey and we looks around for them rusty bugs. Them am pesky, i hears about them from older Kobold, says them eat metaly parts and not likey rocks. Me wish me had big rock. We goes thru tunnel full of chewy bang-bats, some lookey crunchy like Crunchy-bang bugy. Must tell fatty Vakul about these, he am likey boths chewy bang and crunchy-bang too much. He am will love one be both chewy and crunchy. Then we keeps goings thru tunnely when we sees stairs. Stairs be dry and me not wanty to stay wet so i goes to lookey-look just to sees what am theres. It am’s very warmy theres, me feel gooder with warmey warm room. It am haves many shinies turning to melty shinies. Then doopey Kobold monk goes bangy on armors on other side of room, he no have sensy sense of trappy thingies. Armors that standey like warriors, ams warriors most of timey. Them ams hurty hurting monk and me calls out to drinky-one. He knows of fire magic one that teachy him. He come and freezy freeze thingies, then exit closed by rusty bugs that maybe makey lovey to lizards and them’s spawns came to hit us. It ams not good. The big doors opens that were armors was and it am havey huge melty one, Snakey magic-one use magicky thing to closey door on it. it ams funny. Me tries hitting melty one with cold shadow.

After we poofs the big firey the doors slams shuts, Pico thinkey he need goes off the springy-thingy that makes the bolty bolt thats coming. After the door opens…(Squiggles are found at the end of this paper, we assume the Kobold Pico must have run out of ink)}

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